Pushing Buttons
by 1 DeathGoddess
Summary: Lists of ways to annoy your favorite Death Note characters to the point of insanity. With L, Raito, Mello, Mikami, Matt, Misa, Near, Takada, the Shinigami, Investigation team and finally, the SPK!
1. L

Ways on how to make your favorite Deathnote characters very angry….

* * *

**Ways to Push L's buttons…**

Replace all his sugar with Splenda

Every time he accuses some of being Kira, shout "WRONG!" very loudly into his ear.

Gel his hair flat when he's not looking.

Give him sleeping drugs.

When handcuffed to Raito, bang their heads together at random moments.

Follow him down the street and talk to him and address him as "L" very loudly.

Whisper in his ear, "Kira secretly loves you." All the time.

Burn all his cake.

When he swipes Misa's phone, yell and point, "It was him!"

Scream, "Shinigami!" and point to random place and when he looks, run away.

Buy him socks for his birthday. (Which is October 31st if you didn't know)

Talk about perverted stuff to him when he's handcuffed to Raito.

Push him off his chair from behind.

Suggest he use cover up from those bags under his eyes.

When playing Raito at tennis, judge and say "OUT" whenever he scores.

Put your cell phone on 'Loud' and have the "Barbie Girl" song as your tone.

Dance to ring tone whenever it rings.

Poke him. All the time.

Inform his mob of fan girls to his every location.

Let fan girls in past security is he hides in his hotel room.

Throw cherries at the back of his head and point to random investigation team member as blame.

Squirt his shirt with mustard.

When he calls Raito his first friend, looked angry and glomp him and ask, "But I thought I was your friend?!"

Glomp him and don't let go.

Tell Raito his real name.

Saw off his handcuffs in the middle of the night.

Point at everyone you see and tell him that they are Kira.

Accuse him of molesting Near.

Skip around him, and dance.

Oh, and don't forget to sing and chant.

Put chill sauce in his tea.

Steal his laptop and don't give it back.

Act like Misa and ask him repeatedly to marry you.

If he says no, keep asking.

If he says yes, say "No, I don't love you anymore!" and stomp off.

**In the end, you will be accused of being Kira, or round-housed kicked. You've been warned, insomniacs will snap….**


	2. Raito

**Ways to push Raito's buttons.**

Switch his Death Note with a _My Little Pony _notebook instead.

Rubs his head and ruin his perfect hair.

Post LxRaito yaoi on his bedroom wall.

Remind him he's always Uke.

Steal his Death Note and run with it down the street.

Tell him his outfit is out of style.

Run down the street with an apple to lure Ryuk away and throw it into L's hotel room.

Fling his tie into his face.

Do it at least twenty times at day.

Dump chips on his head.

Inform Misa and Takada that he loves you, not them.

Tell Mikami where he lives.

Tell him he's ugly.

Show L his Death Note and tell him it's Raito's diary.

Jump on his back and yell "Giddy up Kira-san!"

Give him a fake report card that says he failed his exams.

On trash day, take the TV out of the trash in front of the hidden cameras and ask why he would throw away such a nice TV.

When visiting Takada, burst into the room and scream, "You cheating bastard!"

Chase him around room and hit him and Takada with a foam finger.

When Kira is talking on TV, Point and say, "Look Raito! You're on TV!"

Tell him he looks like L.

Accuse him of cheating on L with Mello AND Near.

When hand cuffed to L, say to him, "Kinky!"

Fight Misa on who loves him more, you or her.

When Raito has to go shower with L, hit L and call him a pervert.

Convince Raito that sugar has health benefits and he should eat like L.

When he dresses to go kill Raye Penbar, tell him, Quote: "You look hella gangster."

Tell him he sucks at tennis.

Cosplay as him and get a Death Note. Then walk down the street, laughing crazily, while clutching the Death Note.

Walk into a church, while cosplaying him. Every time they mention God, stand up and say, "Yes, what do you want?"

Imitate Mikami and shout "GOD!!" at random moments and glomp him.

Tell Misa that she should spend more time with him.

**Ths will, with no doubt, increase your chances of being written down in the Death Note, or being attacked by Misa.(Which isn't that scary, cause of her lack of fighting skills)**


	3. Mello

**Ways to push Mello's buttons…**

Hide his chocolate.

Eat all his chocolate

Inform him that Near is better than him.

Bleach all his clothes.

Tell him that scar makes him ugly.

Steal his gun and play Russian roulette with Matt.

Ask him where he gets his hair dyed.

Give him make-up for Christmas and tell him it matches his complexion.

Paint his motorcycle pink.

Tell his mafia members that he 'slept' his way to the head of the mafia.

Shove all the MattxMello and NearxMello yaoi you can find in his face.

Tell him he's pretty.

Brush his hair when he's not looking, and when he turns around, hide the brush behind you and look away.

Ask how he fits "anything" in his tight pants.

When he's following Misa around with Matt, yell across the street at him, getting everyone's attention.

Whenever he is within 2 feet of Matt, shout, "Kiss! Kiss! You know you love each other!"

Wear his clothes around and tell him you're just like him.

Poke him, repeatedly, because you just have to.

Ask him why Near got all of L's money and he got squat.

Follow him to the drug store and ask if he needs condoms or tampons.

Ask him, "What kind of name is 'Mihael Keehl'?"

Threaten that if he doesn't marry you, you will tell everyone that he wears dresses when no one is around.

Contradict everything he says. For example, "I'm not your tool to solve the puzzle!" Then say, "Yes you are, you're his Near man-whore. Don't deny it."

Dance around the mafia hideout, singing, "Man! I Feel Like A Woman!"

Shout out the window of the hideout to random pedestrians, "Hi, Look, I'm in the mafia! Don't anger me, or I'll get Mello on your case!"

Pretend to shoot him, but it's actually a water gun.

Then actually squirt him, making him wet.

Tell him he'll never find Kira and that he utterly fails in life.

Tell him he might actually have a chance of catching Kira if he would get over himself and work with Near.

Pose as a doctor and tell him he has diabetes.

Put a fake snake in his bed and videotape him screaming like a girl when he sees it.

Prank-call him on his cell phone.

Tell him he looks like Misa.

* * *

Poor Mello, we do love to abuse him. Oh well. He's the one you should really look out for. He's on chocolate and has a mafia, don't mess with him.

Jenisa: But it's so fun...

Me: Yes, it is. But not if you value your life.

Jenisa: Well, I'm immortal. So I can! Wheee!


	4. Mikami

**Ways to push Mikami's buttons…**

When he talks to himself, Yell "Stop that, it's weird."

Every time he says "Eliminate", poke him.

While following him, greet random people as "Kami" Until he gets really annoyed

When he's writing in the Death Note, look over he shoulder and gasp every time he writes

Skip around him, a lot

Throw chunks of ice at him

Steal his glasses and don't give it back until he begs for them

When he goes on Kira's Kingdom, run on stage and grab the microphone away from him, then start complaining that you should have been given the task of judging people, not "that dude over there" and point at Mikami.

When he goes to the gym, ask if he thinks he's fat

Make him take you to the ice cream store afterwards

When he gets mad at you, cover you eyes and run around screaming franticly, "You can see my face! You can't kill me!"

Hugs him at random moments and say, "Poor Emo kid. You need a hug."

When Gevanni is following him, walk over to Gevanni and tell him Mikami has a gun and is holding you hostage

Tell him he's a pretty boy like Mello

When he asks who's Mello, slap him and tell him to shut up and that he should know

Change his calendar to do random stuff, out of schedule

Skip down the street, holding his hand and singing

When not skipping, push him at really inconvenient moments, like waiting for a train

When he can't kill Near and the others at the warehouse, tell him he fails

When he sees Raito, tell him it's a lie, that you are God.

* * *

Jenisa: OMG, Mikami IS a pretty boy. 

Me: I know, that's why I put it there

Jenisa: Hey, you got inspiration from that comic.

Me: shhhhh!! Don't tell people that. I don't want to be sued!

Jenisa: So what's with the ice theme? Ice cream, ice?

Me: It was kinda hot when I was writing this. I was craving something cold.

Jenisa: So, you wanna go hug the emo kid?

Me: Yes! Let's!. **runs off to go bug Mikami**

**There's not as much. Mikami isn't a MAIN character. We don't know that much about him.**


	5. Matt

**Ways to push Matt's buttons…**

Snap his goggles on his head

Run up to him and yell, "Man bitch, Man-bitch! HAHAHA!"

Or run up to him and yell, "Uke! Uke! HAHAHA!!"

Steal his Game Boy

Destroy said Game boy right in front of him

Do it after he gets to an important part of his game

Dye his hair brown, and say, "You look like Kira-sama!"

See Mello, #16

Treat him like a butler and call him Jeeves (His real name is Mail Jeevas, look it up!)

Call him Mail (like the postage system)

Tell him Misa thinks he's ugly.

Tie him up in a closet

Put a fan girl in there to rape him (I would like to thank The Chick Three for those two)

Put Mello in there to rape him

Put Near, Mello and Matt in a room together (I don't know how you'll do it) Then count them off by their succession as L. "1, 2, 3! 1, 2, 3!" (Matt's 3rd in line. Look that up too!)

Put him in a dress and tell him now he's a girl like Mello.

When he's spying on Misa, Magically appear behind him on his motorcycle

Wave to him when he turns around.

If not on his motorcycle, just run up to him and glomp him at random

When ever he light up a cigarette, squirt it with a squirt bottle and yell at him, "Do you want lung cancer!? Do you want to die a pre-mature death?!"

When he cries over it, hit him and tell him to be a man!

Then hug him, tightly.

Burn all his clothes.

When he needs new clothes, take him to _A&F_

Tell him there's no _Hot Topic_ around for a thousand miles.

Buy him chocolate sauce and dump it on him.

When he asks why, tell him it will make Mello like him more.

* * *

Yay! I came up with stuff for Matt. I was stuck for the longest time! 

Jenisa: You have a sick, sick mind, you know?

Me: Huh?

Jenisa: Those last two... I blame myself

Me: Yep, it's you're fault, and Rachel's... So, you want to be the fan girl in the closet?

Jenisa: Yay!


	6. Misa

Hooray for updating! More sillyness upon the Death Note characters...

**Ways to push Misa's buttons….**

Tell her she's ugly

Grab her and shake her whenever she refers to herself as "Misa-Misa" and yell at her to say "I" instead

Tell her L wants her

Hide all her make up in the morning

Hide all her clothes

Leave only pink clothes for her to wear

Tell her Matt wants her

When she asks whom Matt is, slap her upside the head and yell "Only one of the most uber-cool people of all times!!!!"

Tell her Takada is more talented then her

At random moments, yell, "Look! It's Raito!" and point somewhere at random when nothing is there.

Tell her Raito hates her

Giggle insanely for no reason

Kidnap Raito and don't give him back

Run across the stage or set at any modeling or acting job she has and scream

Put cake in front of her and say, "Cake……cake….."

Cut off all her hair when she's asleep

Or dye her hair an odd color (like green)

Twirl around her in a tutu and sing

Describe in detail your very "fun" night with Raito

Suggest there is more to Raito and Ryuzaki's relationship then meets the eye

When she cries over Raito's death, slap her and tell her to move on with her life

When Raito insists she leave him alone, sarcastically whine, "Ahhh, too bad. So sad." to her

Tell her she's a bad actress and is too fat

Sedate her when she gets whiny or hyper, or clingy

Lock her in Higuchi's car, with him

Mimic everything she does in an ever more annoying way

Inform her that she and Mello have a similar hairstyle and could be related

Constantly upstage her

Out-logic her and confuse her greatly

* * *

Me: Tada I did Misa! 

Jenisa: Yeah, Misa is a moron

Me: It would be so fun to actually do this…

Jenisa: Can you do Takada next? I hate her too!

Me: Yeah, but I want to do one for Near, but that little shrimp is so hard to annoy.

Jenisa: We should go ask Mello!

Me: OK! Let's go ask Mello!

Jenisa: What about Rem and Ryuk? And the investigation team? Huh? HUH?!?!?

Me: Ok, ok. I was going to make a list for them, just calm down.


	7. Near

Yay! I'm back! I was away at camp for a while. But I didn't forget to write down my ideas! I even came up with some for Near! Yay! For me!

* * *

**Pushing Near's Buttons**

Dye his hair black

Dye his pajamas pink

Tell him he fails!

Use all of his toys to build a fort for yourself

Throw Legos at him when he tries to get close it the fort

Tell him, "You'll never replace are dearest L-sama!"

Push him over if he tries to sit like L

Take each of his finger puppets and comment on how they look wrong

Take the Shinigami one and throw it across the room and yell, "Fly, Shinigami!"

Ask if he has pica

Poke his face and tell him to smile

Color on all of his puzzles

Grab him under the arms and force him to stand like a normal person

Tell him Mello is better then him (Cause it's true….)

Tell him he looks like a 9 year old

Ask how he expects to face Kira when he looks like that

Have a staring contest with him

If he loses, yell, "Ha! Who's second now?!"

Randomly lift him and hold him over your head

Run outside with him and yell, "Kira-san! Look who I found?!"

Ask how he "really" feels about Mello…(hehe yaoi…love me yaoi fangirls!)

Hop over him, repeatedly

In the Whammy house, hug him and say "Aww poor orphan. No one loves you, not even me."

Play ring-around-the-rosy with him against his will

When he says reaper, yell at him to say "shinigami" (stupid English dubs…)

Light fire to Toys-R-Us HQ

**Warning Spoilers for volume 12/ episodes 36-37!**

When he eats chocolate in the end of the manga, yank it away and yell, "No! That is Mello's crack! You are not Mello-kun!"

When he wonders what to do with the Death Note in the end, raise your hand and say eagerly, "OH! OH! Give it to me!"

When everyone in the warehouse is freaking about Mikami killing everyone, say, "Don't worry! We replaced all of them, even the one at the bank!"

Say this before Mikami tries to kill them

In the warehouse, sneak up behind him and yank off the L mask and run away with it

When the investigation team enters the warehouse, point behind them and say, "Hey look! A shinigami!"

* * *

Ok, now Mellochan owes me cookies…. haha jk!

Jenisa: Why do you pick on Near?!

Me: Cause I hate him and wish for his doom

Jenisa: But look how adorable he is!! **Shows picture**

Me: I don't care! You abandoned me to go to Indiana! **Goes to be alone in corner of angst**

Jenisa: Did you say that the whore is next?!

Me: yeah…..

Jenisa: YAY!!!


	8. Takada

**Pushing Takada's Buttons**

Call her a whore, repeatedly

Put on sunglasses and act like her

Burst into the truck she is kidnapped into and inform Mello on the hidden pieces of Death Note

Tell her the blanket makes her look fat

Say that it isn't the blanket, she just IS fat

Tell her Misa is prettier then her

Pop up behind her on TV and make faces

Call her ugly, in general

Break past the guards in the hotel and run in yelling, "No! Raito is my hot bishie!"

When she comes out of the hotel, hit her and yell, "Slut! I know what you did!"

Laugh evilly when she is trapped in the truck

Sing random songs at random moments in her ear

When Matt ambushes her at the TV station, overly freak out and run around screaming, "We're all going to die!"

Copy her and say, "I have confirmed it." A lot

Yank away the phone when she talks to Mikami and strike up a random conversation with him for hours

When she asks Raito about his relationship with Misa, interrupt and say that they love each other very much and are getting married

When she tries to question this, slap her and insist you are right

Come up behind her and whisper, "I am T." then run away

When Raito tells her he is Kira, burst in and say, "NO! I am Kira!"

Argue then for hours with Raito about who Kira is

Shave her head in the middle of the night

Skip by her side wherever she goes

Tell people you are her bodyguard whenever they question your skipping with her

Randomly jump in front of the camera and shakes it while fangirl ranting

* * *

Hooray! I did Le Whore! Next time….The Shinigami! **Claps for self**

Jenisa: Le Whore!?

Me: Le Whore!

Jenisa: yay!

Me: yay!

Jenisa: Stop that!

Me: Stop that!

Jenisa: pudding…..

Me: pudding….

Jenisa: I am Uke……

Me: Yes you are!

Jenisa: No! You have to repeat!

Me: I don't like to lie…..You is Uke! I win! **Skips around in victory**


	9. The Shinigami

**Pushing The Shinigami's Buttons!**

**Ryuk**

Tell him the world's apple orchards burned down

Hide all apples from him

When he explains the rules of the Death Note, tilt your head side to side and chant, "Boring, boring."

Tell him he needs a life

Then go, "Oh wait! You're a shinigami, you get no life!"

Tell Shidou where he is

Say you want the eye trade, and then retract it.

Keep debating out loud if you want the eye trade or not

When he tries to talk to you, ignore him and pretend you don't see him

Whine constantly about how he should teach you to fly

Steal the Death Note before he writes Raito's name in it and run away

Ask him if he likes Rem, despite the rules

Insist he does, even when denying it

**Rem**

Call Misa a slut

Poke her and call her squishy

When Raito kisses Misa for the first time, ask Rem if she's going to let him do that

When Misa asks Rem to kill her in confinement, chant loudly, "Do it! Do it!"

Inform the investigation team where she is when she tries to kill L and Watari

Steal the Death Note when she tries to kill L and Watari

Offer to kill L and Watari for her, then run away with the Death Note, shrieking, "Fooled you! Fooled you!"

Tell her she and Ryuk can get married and have little baby shinigami together

Tell her L raped Misa, then go, "Just kidding, or am I?"

**Shidou**

Don't give him anymore chocolate

Pretend you know where his Death Note is then lead him to the completly wrong place

Lie and say you have his Death Note

Catch the Death Note when he throws it across the room to Kal Snyder so he can be seen, and run away with it

Sit with him and say, "ummm, chocolate is good..."

Ask Mello and L to join you in the chocolate party

Throw away the scrolls that tell him the rules

* * *

And then there were shinigami! The Investigation team and SPK are next! woot! 

Jenisa: haha Shinigami love!

Me: hehe yes, funny.

Jenisa: You used the words "Death Note" 8 times.

Me: So?

Jenisa: It's a lot

Me: It's the name of the f...ing series! And the central concept. Of course it comes up a lot, especially with the shinigami!

Jenisa: Sorry, too many happy pills...

Me: Yeah, I know


	10. The Investigation Team

The long awaited update! It's here, after a long writer's block!**

* * *

**

**Pushing the Investigation Team's buttons…**

Ask if you can go to tea with Raito and L

When Near suggest that Kira is among them, overly freak out and run around screaming in panic

Push the safety belt many times, when you're not in danger

Throw all of L's cake at everyone's face

Call Matsuda an idiot, many times

Steal the Death note when they capture it

Get a crowd outside, when Raito is in confinement. Chant "Free the bishie!" very loudly

Destroy the Headquarters and blame the shinigami

Spam all the computers in the Headquarters.

Punch the air and scream "Yes!" when L dies

Block all access to the building by messing with the security

Spin around in a chair, at random moments

Tell everyone that there's an anti-Kira force in the Headquarters building

Shout, "DOOM!!" Whenever anyone important talks

Shout, "Bad place! Bad Place!" And try and stop them from going into the warehouse

Make the L voice very high pitched, like a chipmunk.

Insist that everyone needs a new haircut

Point at each Yotsuba member and say they're Kira

Watch the L and Raito fight with the Investigation team and yell "Woot! Fight! Fight!"

Cheer for Mello when they invade the Mafia Hideout

Whenever they fall for one of Raito's tricks, slap your forehead and mutter, "Bakas…"

Delete all info on Kira, and then go, "Ooopsies!!"

Carry around a CD player, get the OST and play the theme songs at proper moments

Shout and shake everyone and accuse them of being Kira

Grab the microphone away and yell at Near that Raito isn't Kira

Get very over emotional about it

Let random people into the Headquarters

Complain about the decision to trade one girl for a notebook of death, and call it stupid

Just call all their decisions stupid

Drag L and Raito around by the handcuffs, all over the place

* * *

Me: Woot! man, I was totally listening to the OST as I wrote this

Jenisa: Good for you.

Me: Why so sad? No flames plz! I'm not really glad L died. It was for the sake of annoying the team.

Jenisa: Poor L.

Me: Ok, moving on! Major writer's block. Not to mention school has started.

Jenisa: NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!

Me: Yes, angst...One chapter left...Da SPK! yay! Hopefully soon to come!


	11. The SPK

This is 1 Death Goddess. I'm sorry to say this is the last chapter. But please enjoy the last installment of Pushing Buttons. Or as I also like to call it, "How to really, really annoy the Death Note characters"

* * *

**Pushing the SPK's buttons**

Constantly call them the "KFC" instead

Play dramatic music when half of them die via Death Note

Ask why they work for some albino kid

Disrupt Near explaining things by doing cartwheels and scream, "WHEEEE!!!"

When Giovanni is following Mikami, ask "What'cha doing?" A lot.

Ask how they got roped into hunting down Kira, and whatever they tell you, say, "Sucks for you!"

Disagree with everything Near says.

Argue in front of everyone that he's wrong.

Wave outside to the mob of Kira supporters.

Point out the SPK members when they run out in disguise.

When Hal stops Misa form attacking Takada, whine and say, "Awwww, but it would of been funny!"

Encourage Mello to shoot Near

Gasp when they throw money off the roof and go, "Awww, money..."

Then cry

Then get angry and attack them, calling them stupid.

Ask Near what he and Mello did last night.

Ask Hal what she and Mello did last night

Inform Mikami that he's being followed

Steal Near's puppets and run around, playing with them and shoving them in the SPK's faces

Steal all of Near's toys and frame a random member

Ask "L" to come and visit, giving him the address of the hideout

Throw Near's darts at them

Switch the Death Note page at the bank back to the real one

Say you know who L #2 is and when they ask who, say "L"

Say you know who Kira is, when they ask who, say you are.

Sing songs, rhyming their names with other words.

Make a big sign saying "SPK Headquarters" and hanging it outside the door

Paint a slogan underneath saying, "We're gonna catch Kira! Yay!"

Ask Hal and Rester if they're "Near's mommy and daddy".

Ask Giovanni if he's the uncle

* * *

Me: And so ends this lovely fanfic! Awwww….. 

Jenisa: We bid you all farewell.

Me: Yes, and now I go eat pie.

Jenisa: But you still have so many stories to finish.

Me: Oh yeah. Like the one where Raito puts everyone in the crazy house. Got to finish that.

Jenisa: Go! Go my special crack addict!

Me: I'm going! I'm going! Special Pica face….

Jenisa:p


End file.
